Tommy the Tummy

(a story) Many people don’t realize that body parts can talk to each other. They may not have mouths, but they still communicate; it’s just in ways that we cannot hear. Much like people, body parts compare themselves to each other because they want to look their best.  On one particular person, one such body part was Tommy the Tummy. Tommy the Tummy had a dream. His dream was to be firm, and he would constantly talk about this to the other body parts. Unfortunately, all of the other body parts would make fun of him because he was far from his goal. However, since they were from the same … [Read more...]

Robin Williams: How to handle this tragedy

Robin Williams is arguably the greatest comedian of all time.  Whether in front of a live audience or a camera, the man was brilliant.  He was so good Ozzy Osborne hired him to cheer up Sharon when she was struggling with cancer, which is an audience most comedians would avoid at all costs (a fact from Ozzy’s biography).  Robin is a hero and inspiration to millions of people and his death is one of those events where the general reaction is disbelief: “No, that can’t be true,” especially in light of how it happened.  In times such as these the most important thing is to allow ourselves a … [Read more...]

Happiness: Sam the Shoe

(A Story) Sam the shoe, as the name suggests was a shoe. Sam liked being a shoe; she just wish she was a different shoe.  In her mind every other shoe was better off than her.  She was a “running” shoe, but I say running in quotations because she was a Velcro running shoe, and no one with Velcro shoes does a lot of running, especially Sam’s owner.  Her owner rode a motorized wheelchair, which frustrated Sam because she rarely got to feel the earth.  It was always just a step or two on the actual ground and then she’d be stationary on the motorized wagon.  Sam was frustrated because she had so … [Read more...]

Grateful for the Moment

(A story) Divorce? Tom’s parents woke him up to tell him their news, and now he was in shock.  He had never thought his parents would be getting a divorce.  They had been together for 25 years.  Sure they would fight on occasion, but it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary.  What was even stranger was his mom and dad were looking at him with excitement in their eyes.  It wasn’t even upsetting for them.  His mom interrupted his thinking by saying, “Your father and I have decided we need new adventures.”  Tom was confused.  His parents were older; the only adventures they’re supposed to have … [Read more...]

Getting Engaged is Like…

Many people don’t realize that the words “Will you marry me?” are another way of saying “There’s a storm coming.”  Getting engaged is like being hit by a hurricane because it’s always a lot more damaging and harder to endure than people expect.  Instead of rain and sleet, however, you’re pounded by questions and a tidal wave of decisions that need to be made.  It’s almost impossible to get engaged and not feel overwhelmed at some point.  It’s like that young guy who thinks it’ll be cool to tie himself to a tree to experience a hurricane head on.  He goes in thinking this will be great, but … [Read more...]

5 Tricks to Liking Your Job

One of the things I love about Universal Studios and Disney Parks is how friendly the staff is.  Everywhere I went they were quick to say hi, which helped me be friendlier in return.  After a week of this treatment I was in the habit of cheerfully greeting people myself and expecting a cheerful response... and that’s when I went to the airport; it’s not the same at the airport.  Airport security will not be winning a customer service award for friendliness on this side of prison: (me being cheerful) “Hi!” (airport security with look of annoyance) “Ugh.”  (me seeing another airport security … [Read more...]

Good Parenting

This week I had the privilege of going to the Universal and Disney Parks; they are all amazing places designed with wonderful creativity and impressive craftsmanship.  Of course, what really stood out to me, however, was seeing the contrast between good and bad parents.  I know not being a parent myself I need to be careful not to be too harsh in my judgements, but some things are blatantly bad; they’re so bad that someone as naive as me can see they’re bad.  One of the worst – and funny – things I kept seeing were parents pushing a large child in a stroller.  When I say “large” I mean LARGE … [Read more...]

The Importance of Learning

I have 3 Masters Degrees, which means one thing: I’ve forgotten a whole lot of information.  I’ve been blessed with a lot of education, but how much do I actually remember?  Maybe 1%, which means for every one hundred things I learned I remember one thing.  A ratio of 100:1 is not an encouraging statistic... the following has been provided to you by my grade nine math skills.  It could be argued that I remember more than I realize, and I just need the proper memory cues.  For instance, I was recently supply teaching a biology class and was surprised at how much I remembered about the parts of … [Read more...]

A Grad Speech You’ll Never Hear

The following is a high school graduation speech that is meant to actually be honest and not just the typical fluff and pander to make people feel good: Wow, look at you.  You are graduating high school.  It’s exciting... although I’m sure for some of you, your teachers are even more excited that you’re leaving than you are; some of you are not good people.  Either way it is exciting to be a graduate because you are now fully qualified to say, “Would you like to super size that?”  You’re also qualified to say, “Welcome to Walmart,” but you won’t be able to find a job doing this because a … [Read more...]

Said vs Heard

What is heard is sometimes very different than what is said.  For instance, the other night my girlfriend and I were out walking her dog when out of the silence she said, “I don’t want to be poor.”  This was a straightforward statement simply meant to share what was on her heart.  Of course, I don’t think many people would disagree with this idea: “What? Are you crazy?  How could you not want to be poor?  It’s sooooo cool!  I want to live on handouts while drowning in judgement.  That’s the sweet life.”  Her statement is definitely not a revolutionary one, and when she said it I should have … [Read more...]