Is God Incompetent?

Being Easter, churches across the world will be filled by the regular Christmas and Easter crowds who show up because of obligation and guilt.  If God is real shouldn’t we want to worship on a regular basis and not to avoid getting in trouble with family?  Reading my Bible this week I came across two of Jesus’ analogies: “The Lost Coin” and “The Lost Sheep”.  These stories are typically used to teach about the excitement in heaven when someone comes to faith in God, but for some reason while I was reading these passages all I could think was why is anyone being lost in the first place?  Losing … [Read more...]

Defn of Stupid (being what you hate)

This week someone made some very harsh accusations against me via Facebook – I hate Facebook.  I had known things were not so good between us for several months and since we were parting ways I wanted to send a note that gave a blessing for the future and an apology for whatever I did (I’m still not sure why exactly she’s angry at me).  That note was what prompted her harsh message to me.  She responded to my apology and blessing with an attack.  She wrote, “You’re a jerk and you’re mean.” (para)  Regardless of whether this is true (I’d like to disagree), she was saying that I was a jerk and … [Read more...]

Reducing Problems

Two years ago I had to pull out the power tools because I needed to do some major repairs... unskilled worker with tools? This always turns out well... for other people who want to laugh at someone hurting themselves.  The repairs were on my family’s tree house... no, we don’t live in a tree like in Swiss Family Robinson (yes, that’s a reference for old people like me).  My dad built a tree house over thirty years ago as a way to make moving to the country more appealing to my sister when she was 6.  It wasn’t bribery... it was... no, it was bribery. What did I get? Nothing. My parents claim … [Read more...]

Adult Bullying

I believe adult bullying is much more rampant today and causing more damage than childhood bullying because as adults we have little course of action or room for complaint;  we’re just stuck or it feels that way.  The three main places where adult bullying is experienced: Work Marriage/Family Within ourselves (i.e. we can be really mean to ourselves with things like exaggerated guilt and fear) As kids, bullying is typically by an older and/or bigger kid picking on someone smaller.  As an adult, it’s not the size, but the position that creates the bullying.  For instance, bosses and … [Read more...]

2 Reasons We Have an Addiction

Sometimes we are drawn to things that are bad for us... Two years ago I had an unusual reaction to what I was told.  When the ultrasound technician said to me: “You need surgery right away,” my response was: “That’s awesome!”  That’s not the normal response to being told you need surgery because it’s surgery and not ice cream.  On top of this, my fist pumping action didn’t help the normalcy of my response.  Not only should I not be so excited I’m thrusting my hand in fits of joy, but the fist pump is a clear sign I’m out of touch with what’s cool.  On the positive side, at least I didn’t … [Read more...]

Are Bad Things Really Bad?

I used to think “bad” things happening were inevitable, but now I see it differently; bad isn’t always bad.  I now understand what William Shakespeare wrote in Hamlet, “There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.”  Whether something is good or bad is all in how you look at something; it’s all in your perspective.  This idea is further demonstrated in the book A Complaint Free World by Bill Bowen when he notes that you can see things as a problem or an opportunity, a setback or a challenge.  Whether it’s learned or a genetic disposition, I have always been inclined to see … [Read more...]

What is Love?

Many people think that love is a feeling, but it’s so much more than that.  True love is an act of patience, kindness and grace.  It is a gift we share.  It’s not something we can demand or command.  True love isn’t earned; it is simply given.  Love is the way we act not the way we feel.  When Jesus was asked what it means to love your neighbor, he used a story referred to as “The  Good Samaritan” (Luke 10:30-37).  The following is my take. The Good Shopkeeper Many years ago in a small town a shopkeeper was busy cleaning up after a long day.  It was getting close to Christmas, so business … [Read more...]

The Importance of Comparing

One of the best lessons I’ve ever learned is in the book The Spirituality of Imperfection.  The lesson is given by a Rabbi who tells his disciples that everyone needs to have two pockets: one for gold and one for dirt.  On the one hand, we are as precious as gold, and on the other, we’re as base as dirt.  I’ve come to apply this teaching to couples as well.  I always recommend every partnership find another couple who exemplifies what a healthy and happy relationship looks like; something they can look up to and strive to be more like.  At the same time, I also recommend they know a psycho … [Read more...]

Unnecessary Judgement

Last week I discussed unnecessary guilt... if you didn’t read it I hope you now feel necessary guilt... just kidding... no, really; I’m kidding.  Oh no, I likely really upset you.  I’m such a horrible person... And yes, that was an example of unnecessary guilt.  I’m brilliant... and that’s unnecessary bragging because clearly you know that... just kidding... no, really.... This week we’ll be looking at unnecessary judgement, so let’s start... if you haven’t already with my opening. This week I had to go downtown.  Notice the use of the word ‘had’.  It’s not ‘I got to go’ or even ‘I had … [Read more...]

Unnecessary Guilt

A few weeks ago I wrote that having anxiety is a gift even though it can feel like quite the opposite.  Another one of these gifts that is often considered a burden is guilt, but guilt is a wonderful thing because it is a powerful teacher and accountability partner.  Guilt teaches us when something was a bad choice and it can keep us from doing that thing over again.  One of the hardest challenges for good people is dealing with unnecessary guilt.  This is guilt for something that shouldn’t leave us feeling guilty or it is an exaggeration of the guilt we should actually feel for what we did.  … [Read more...]