Are Suicidal Thoughts Normal?

This week I was asked by a very ashamed looking individual if suicidal thoughts are normal?  Suicide has become a lot like cancer insofar that we all know someone who has been affected by it, especially in light of the tragic loss of Robin Williams.  Unfortunately, unlike those who suffer from cancer, people who experience suicidal thoughts end up keeping it to themselves because there’s typically a level of shame to it.  As a teen, suicidal thoughts seem to be more acceptable, and there are a number of resources to help when this is an issue whether parents, peers, teachers, and organizations … [Read more...]

How to improve your relationship &/or your life

Words are powerful.  The right words can put an idea into our head that can lead to success while those like loser, ugly, useless, mistake, pig, and stupid can continue to haunt us for life.  Fortunately, because of this power, we can effectively change the state of our relationships with just words.  In my therapy practice I have found there are 5 main categories of words for building up relationships.  Each category will resonate with us in a different way.  For instance, one category will stick out as something we really want while another will be something that we can take or leave.  … [Read more...]

Do you have an addiction?

If you were to ask a child ‘what do you want to be as an adult?’ I highly doubt you’ll hear something like “When I grow up I want to be an alcoholic,” or “I want to be a slave to my job because I’m a workaholic.”  It’s very unlikely you’ll ever meet someone who wants to have an addiction, so why do we all have something that’s reducing our quality of life or tempting us? Please Note: An addiction is anything that takes control over our minds and lives; it’s something we feel we “have” to do, but it hurts us.  Addictions can be one of the standards (i.e. drugs, drinking, food, gambling, … [Read more...]

The Downside of Jesus

After growing up in a Christian home going to church almost every week all my life, being a youth pastor for 8 years, and having two of my Masters Degrees from seminary, I am well acquainted with Christianity.  As much as I enjoy and appreciate being a believer I had a realization this week: There is a downside to Jesus.  In all honesty, I have no problem with tithing, volunteering, or going to church; some people hate these things, but I’ve found they’ve helped develop my self-discipline and character.  I don’t even mind the fact that the Church has a history of screwing up, and we know how … [Read more...]

Does God Provide?

Growing up a Christian I always struggled with World Vision commercials because I was continually told that God provides, but if that was true, why are there starving children?  Does God care?  Does He care, but unable to fix the problem?  I know the standard answer is that God provides a world with enough resources to feed everyone, but He also made people with freewill, which means we have the freedom to make bad decisions that hurt both others and ourselves.  For instance, greed leads to certain leaders keeping food from being distributed to those in need while selfishness prevents … [Read more...]

7 Tips to Find a Boyfriend or Girlfriend

1.  Do what you love: Because I do weddings I often meet happy couples.  The last three started their relationship after meeting doing what they love.  One met bowling; another played darts; and the other met playing Bingo.  Now, each of these couples can enjoy doing their respective activities together for many years to come... and I can tease them for it at their wedding.  2.  Joke about it: Being able to joke about being single can be fun and help reduce and shame or anxiety you may have towards it.  This increased confidence will make you more attractive.  It’ll also help get the idea … [Read more...]

7 Money Saving Tips & 7 Gift Ideas for Valentines

This week’s article offers three great sections for tips to help on Valentine’s Day.  The third is a bonus section since it’s the one that didn’t make the title because ‘7 Money Saving Tips & 7 Gift Ideas & 5 Steps to have a Great Valentines’ was a little long. 7 Money Saving Tips 1)      If you have kids, offer to babysit for someone who can return the favor for you the night you want to go out 2)      Postpone your Valentine’s outing in order to avoid jacked up prices and crammed restaurants. 3)      Start a tradition where you have your Valentines on Feb 16 so you can … [Read more...]

Erotic Hand Holding

When I was fifteen I was able to do something I had been trying to do since I was in kindergarten.  I was able to get a girl I liked to actually like me back.  Not only was she beautiful, she was a year older... yeah, I was the man... for the moment; you’ll see.  She was exotic; she was Serbian... I grew up in very white rural Canada, so she this was exotic in my eyes.  Part of this exoticism was she had this sexy accent.  She was a dream.  She was an amazing singer; she had a wonderful laugh; and every so often, when the time was right... are you ready for this?  She wore glasses... I don’t … [Read more...]

9 Tips to Fight Teen Depression:

A major problem for young people today is the growing struggle with depression and suicide. Fortunately, preventing depression involves the same basic concepts as helping someone overcome it.  Thus, the following list is great for anyone who is facing depression or knows someone who is.  These tips will give you a starting point for helping with this problem, but I always recommend working in conjunction with a good professional like me for serious cases. A Place of Safety:  Young people need a place where they feel safe.  A home that’s safe is definitely optimal, but teenagers also need … [Read more...]

7 Tips to Get More Sexual Healing

Last week we discussed when a couple should break up.  This week I’m going to help the other side who want to stay together and want to know how to get more “sexual healing”.    For the record, I’m saying “sexual healing” because being physically intimate is important whether it’s as simple as holding hands or the more intimate things like… I’m sure you can think of a few options.  I will point out, however, that Western society has forgotten how to enjoy the little things like just holding each other as TV and movies promote the idea that if you’re interested in someone or just in the mood … [Read more...]