9 Tips to Fight Teen Depression:

A major problem for young people today is the growing struggle with depression and suicide. Fortunately, preventing depression involves the same basic concepts as helping someone overcome it.  Thus, the following list is great for anyone who is facing depression or knows someone who is.  These tips will give you a starting point for helping with this problem, but I always recommend working in conjunction with a good professional like me for serious cases. A Place of Safety:  Young people need a place where they feel safe.  A home that’s safe is definitely optimal, but teenagers also need … [Read more...]

7 Tips to Get More Sexual Healing

Last week we discussed when a couple should break up.  This week I’m going to help the other side who want to stay together and want to know how to get more “sexual healing”.    For the record, I’m saying “sexual healing” because being physically intimate is important whether it’s as simple as holding hands or the more intimate things like… I’m sure you can think of a few options.  I will point out, however, that Western society has forgotten how to enjoy the little things like just holding each other as TV and movies promote the idea that if you’re interested in someone or just in the mood … [Read more...]

5 Tips to Know if You Should be Together

One of the most common questions I hear as a marriage therapist is ‘should we be together?’  I think this is a very normal and healthy question to ask, especially when I also do weddings and see couples who are in dreamland: (dreamland couple) “We’re so happy! We’re so perfect together.  We never fight and our house is filled with mice that clean our house like in Cinderella.”   It’s been found that love can have the same effect as cocaine on the brain, and some of the couples I see for weddings are stoned hard.  Reality is eventually going to hit them like a falling anvil... can you tell I’ve … [Read more...]

The Darwin Awards

The Darwin Awards are my guilty pleasure.  I love the stories they offer for conversation and, to be honest, they make me feel a little bit better about myself.  I don’t mean this in the Jerry Springer appeal way – although it is – but they are a great reminder that no matter how dumb I may be or how bad a moment I may have, it could be worse.  Here is this year’s list rewritten by me... yes, I’m a control freak. WINNERS OF THE DARWIN AWARDS FOR 2014 Nominee #1: [San Jose Mercury News]: An unidentified man used a shotgun like a club to ram a former girlfriend’s windshield... sorry, … [Read more...]

3 Tips for New Years

For New Years Last month I joined a business group called BNI, which is a collection of people representing close to thirty different professions.  It’s pretty cool going to my weekly meetings and seeing a parking lot full of Mercedes, BMWs and Fords... I saved the best for last... at least that what I tell myself as I pull up in my Fusion.  Being part of this group has pointed out several important habits of successful people that I will quickly point out as many of us are thinking of New Year’s Resolutions. 1. Structure: Every meeting follows the same setup in order to make sure we … [Read more...]

God Bless Us Everyone

Tis the season for Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, and the plethora of movie and TV takes on it.  My favourites include Scrooged with Bill Murray, The Muppets Christmas Carol (love the music), and the Blackadder’s Christmas Carol (this takes the reverse approach where Scrooge starts nice and ends mean).  I love the classic line from this story, “God bless us, everyone,” but what does this really mean?  How can God bless us?  God’s supposed to love everyone equally, which means He can’t manipulate results because that would show favoritism.  Thus, He can’t rig lotteries, make you have a hit … [Read more...]

I Need Your Help

When has someone touched your heart by doing something surprisingly kind?  (Tip: this is a great question to ask others, especially when you’re looking for conversations at holiday parties and dinners) This question forms the basis for my next book, Good Samaritans: Stories of People Making a Difference.  This book is going to follow in the footsteps of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series insofar that it will be a collection of real stories that prove there is good in the world.  It will, however, simply be stories about people doing selfless acts of kindness.  A Good Samaritan refers to … [Read more...]

My Christmas Advice

My advice this Christmas is to laugh.  I know it sounds simple, but sometimes we forget to simply laugh at our mistakes and the silly things that happen to us.  Instead of getting angry at someone for something dumb they’ve done, try laughing.  Instead of getting mad at yourself for making a mistake, laugh at yourself.  You’ll reduce a lot of stress and unnecessary pain by simply laughing at the situation.  Laughing is not only good for you physically and emotionally, it’s a great way to connect with others and build relationship; unfortunately, it’s just not always easy, especially when we’re … [Read more...]

Is this why marriages last?

The more I talk to married and divorced people, the more I want to conclude that whether a marriage will last or break up is largely determined by the woman.  I’m not “blaming” women; I just find that men in a committed relationship are better at accepting things even if it’s unhealthy.  It’s like when a guy has something like giant boils all over his body and yet he claims, “I don’t need a doctor; I’m fine.  I’ll walk it off.”  Clearly, that isn’t the medical solution needed at that time, but it doesn’t matter.  The guy would rather pretend he’s fine.  The same thing can happen in … [Read more...]

Are you a good person? (a test)

Are you a good person? Most people say they’re a good person, but... um... no, unless your definition is simply: “I’m good because I don’t steal... except music and movies... oh, and I cheat on my taxes, but who doesn’t?  I also haven’t killed anyone, so I’m a good person.”  If this is your definition... that sucks.  Wow, you don’t steal and you haven’t killed someone; impressive... that was sarcasm.  What about people who have killed someone?  Does that mean they can never be a good person?  What if it was an accident or in self-defence?  Last week I wrote about encountering one of the worst … [Read more...]